Feminine Buzz

In the past, i.e. the 1990’s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC’s or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.

There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for “the one”.

If you don’t believe me, just ask your friends in the “real” world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.

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Life isn’t fair. Men get all the breaks. You’ve devoted all of your 20’s to getting your career off the ground. Not that you haven’t been dating…you have, but not seriously. Now here you are…30 something and there is no long term relationship in sight. You can actually hear your biological clock ticking. You have a precious few years to find a man to fall in love with, make him fall in love with you, get married, and have a baby or its lights out. You already know all of the men in your social circle. Not that they aren’t nice guys…some of them…but none of them are your soul mate. What’s a girl to do?

Consider online dating. You have the opportunity to read hundreds of profiles and look at hundreds of pictures in search of that “someone” that will be right for you. Maybe he will live in the same city you do…maybe he will live across the country or even in another country altogether. You aren’t limited to only those men that you come in contact with personally. The possibilities are almost endless.

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The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. Prince Charming, riding on a white stallion, lost his way or found Princess Charming and got married on his way to your castle. Get over it and get on with it. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won’t find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isn’t among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is “what”.

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Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entrée has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?

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There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man. These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.

While chatting online or by email do not write your life story. His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair. Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks. For instance: If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them. He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has. For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him. Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.

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